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We all know that football fans can be creative and hilarious, at times, often providing more entertainment than you sometimes see on the pitch! We’ve put together a selection of hilarious football chants guaranteed to give you a laugh! OK, let’s go!

Andy Goram

In the 1990’s, Ranger’s goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with a mild spell of schizophrenia. In response to his ailment, Celtic fans came up with this classic little ditty…

‘Two Andy Gorams, there’s only two Andy Gorams!’

andy goram
One of the Andy Gorams in action!

Rio Ferdinand

When Rio Ferdinand missed games due to drugs allegations, West Han United fans came up with this, to the tune of Rio by Duran Duran.

‘His name is Rio and he watches from the stand’

Rio ferdinand
Rio in action!

Bobby Zamora

Fulham’s Bobby Zamora was a cult hero – sometimes great, sometimes not so. Fulham fans came up with the following to celebrate the striker’s prowess… sung to the tune of Dean Martin’s 'That’s Amore'.

‘When you're sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora, that's Zamora... When the ball hits the goal, It's not Shearer or Cole, It's Zamora’

Emile Heskey

Birmingham City fans came up with this ‘tribute’ to their enigmatic striker Emile Heskey after his return to form…

‘There's only one Emile Heskey, one Emile Heskey. He used to be sh**e, but now he's all right, Walking in a Heskey wonderland’

Jamie Carragher

Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher had to listen to this ditty after his dad was arrested at a match for being drunk…

‘He's red, he's sound, he's banned from every ground, Carra's dad, Carra's dad.’


When Chelsea played Turkish side Galatasaray, their fans came up with this classic…

‘You're shish, and you know you are!’

Chelsea crowd
Chelsea fans under a big flag!

Robbie Keane

Liverpool fans enjoyed singing this about Irish striker Robbie Keane…

‘He's fast, he's red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane!’

robbie keane
Robbie holding a huge invisible baguette!

Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez – hate him, or… hate him – the boy’s always been a controversial figure. Following allegations that he racially abused Patrice Evra, Stoke fans came up with this little ditty…

‘He cheats, he dives, He hates the Jackson Five, Luis Suarez, Luis Suarez!’


Arsenal fans chanted this about their team to the tune of Stealers Wheel’s 'Stuck in the Middle With You'

‘Podolski to the left of me, Walcott to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle Giroud!’

If you're feeling a bit depressed or down in the dumps, take a look at some of the best-ever footballers hairdos - these will perk you up!

Written by Graham Hey